Changes

Hi lovelies! Hope you all are having a great week so far and had a great long weekend. 

 I’ve had some pretty big things happening over here that I haven’t been able to fully share until now. Which is the main reason for the radio silence when it comes to blog posts. If you don’t follow me on Instagram then you’re most likely  unaware that I’ve moved to Ohio. 

This has been a work in progress for about a month now.  It’s been such an emotional roller coast and something I truly believed was not going to happen.  

I’ve been taking about moving to Columbus, Ohio for what seems like forever now. It’s such a weird feeling when you realize what you’ve been hoping for is actually happening.  When something that was “always a future goal” suddenly is right in front of your face. I always had a plan of how it would work out. I would find a dream job first, get a super cute apartment and then move to Columbus. After trying to accomplish this for a few months nothing happened. I had a couple phone interviews, that did not amount to anything.

Fast forward to April 2017- I went back to Columbus to spend Easter with Aaron. This was our second weekend in a row together and the thought of getting back on a plane was daunting. I remember praying Sunday morning that my flight would be canceled. Hoping that email would come saying Delta messed up and I was “stuck” in Ohio. No email fulfilled this fanstasy of mine so I packed. Packed up my belongings into a suitcase I started to hate. I was tired of Sunday evening flights. I was tired of the airport. And I was tired of feeling like this was always going to be our reality. In the last few hours of my visit I probably said, “What if I just miss my flight and stay here?” At least ten times. And every time Aaron told me to do it. I would just laugh and say, “yeah if only” while watching the hands of the clock dwindle our time away.

When I got back to Atlanta that night I cried. I mean I cried like a freaking baby. I was frustrated, sad and plain exhausted. I’m sure the lack of sleep was a big factor in the tears. But I also was truly frustrated. The next day I called my mom and told her everything I was thinking. How hard it’s been and how I wasn’t sure what to do next. How I missed being close to her and my dad. And jokingly told her that I would happily be a stay at home daughter. After listening to me babble like a psycho for almost an hour, She told me point blank to move….

I’m sorry what? It’s so easy to put out the idea but to actually follow through with that took guts. I wasn’t sold on the idea of packing up my life or leaving my stable job for the hopes of finding something in Ohio. 

When Aaron called me that night I told him what my mom had said and he agreed. So then it was up to me… I was so scared of the unknown but there was a part of me that knew it was the right move. So I did it, I started looking for someone to sublease my room and prayed the process wouldn’t take months.

Fast forward to the last week in May.  I should be packing but instead I can’t help but watch Netflix and procrastinate. Moving is a slow torture, but moving out of state is a whole new level. I’ve been an unstable emotional rollercoaster for about two months now and its awful.  I’m scared of the unknown and sad to leave all of the people I’ve met in Georgia. I have thoughts of doubt creep into my head constantly. I have trouble taking things lightly, so laying awake at night thinking over ever single possibility has become my “normal” life. 

After a few sleepless weeks I decided I couldn’t put myself through this self doubt anymore. I was worn down and completely exhausted. Couldn’t think straight and upset at the drop of a hat. Through all of these emotions it hit me, I couldn’t keep living like I was in control. I had made a decision because I knew it was right, life was throwing me curve balls (way too many to detail out at this time) and it was my job to take them with grace. Because through it all, I was also really happy and completely at peace with the decision. It was about time to step up and quit letting these little tests get the best of me.

Through all of the craziness and emotions  I’ve learned so much about myself. Life is scary and will always throw something your way. But how you react makes all the difference. 

Fast forward to today, I am now living in a new house, in a new city with a new job. Within one month my life did a complete flip. I can truly say that right now, I’m so excited for this new journey. And I can’t wait to show y’all my new favorite places in Ohio! 

 

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