STOP STANDING IN YOUR OWN WAY
Do you ever have a moment where you question if what you are doing is right? Like if you’re chasing your dreams for selfish reasons or if it’s something you’ve been called to pursue. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Wondering if I made up the fact that I’ve always loved to write, and if my current switch to a faith based blog was for alternative reasons. Well it’s funny, but sometimes the encouragement we need comes from ourselves. Today the below writing came across my Facebook “On This Day” tab.
The below words aren’t all polished and the writing doesn’t flow perfectly. But reading the words that I wrote nine years ago sent chills down my spine. At the age of 16, I was writing words that my 25 year old self needed to hear. I’m thankful this came across my page today, I needed a reminder to stop standing in my own way. To stop doubting myself and start trusting that God has a plan for this life.
“We all at one point in our lives have or will experience worship. Whether it will be the worship of God, a person, money, video game, celebrity, or anything that we find to be valuable. We will worship it. We will have this moment where everything around us seems to disappear. Like we are the only one standing there. This morning I woke up with a major headache, hit the snooze on my alarm 2 times, and felt like I just wanted to stay in bed forever. But I knew that I needed to get out of bed and go to church, so I could see my 8th grade small group girls. I got to church and realized that I hadn’t eaten breakfast and was feeling as though I could really use a large coffee! My little sister kindly went and got me a bagel and some coffee drink that had espresso in it. I was thanking her for saving my life. While we were standing in the huddle like we always do before we open the doors to the under ground, Josh said that we needed to put aside whatever was going to get in the way of us being fully there. We needed to make it right with God. I stood there and thought to myself….There was nothing that I could really think of that was in the way. So I just went on and didn’t think anything of it. Little did I know, I was standing in my own way that morning.
When it was time to go in to the auditorium and worship I went in and the moment I stepped in there it was different. I didn’t think too much about it at first. But, then out of the corner of my eye I saw a middle school boy in a red hoodie. Now this would seem like any other RP boy except one thing made him stand out. He was the only one with his hands open wide and high in the air. He was singing, eyes closed, and had the biggest smile on his face. He was swaying back and forth to the music. Just loving being in the presence of the Lord, being able to worship the Lord. In that moment I realize something. We can sometimes say that middle schoolers can not be serious, that they don’t really understand how to worship, or that they are simply going through the motions. This boy blew all of those stereotypes away there was no possible way someone could say that. In that brief moment this boy helped me to realize that this morning I was in the way of myself.
I do not know who this young boy is. Honestly I had not seen him in Rust Proof before. But in that moment he taught me the biggest lesson I could ever learn, and he has no idea.”