Happy Friday lovelies!
I wanted to share something that has been close to my heart for awhile now. I’ve been reading articles, seeing vlogs and social media posts about long distance relationships. Some of you may not know this, but Aaron and I dated long distance for a little over a year before I moved to Columbus. Neither of us ever had the intention of being in a long distance relationship (LDR) but there we were, two people who met one weekend and then started dating long distance a month later. Our relationship started long distance, so it was definitely easier than those who start off dating in the same state only to move to different cities.
There are a few things that really bother me when it comes to what I heard while we were dating long distance and what I am seeing people post about. I completely believe that EVERY relationship is different. Just because something works for one couple does not mean it will work for another.
When Aaron and I had been dating for about six months I had a few people in my life tell me that our relationship was not real. They argued that since we had never lived in the same state we could not know how we truly felt about one another. Here’s the thing y’all, when you are dating someone who lives in a different state you immediately build up communication or it will never work. Aaron is also the type of guy who, what you see if what you get. I knew his heart and he made sure I always was aware that he was pursuing me. After awhile I learned to ignore the unsolicited “advice” and realized that our relationship was ours. The people who were trying to tell me to “be cautious” and saying, “you all don’t know what life is like with one another” had never been in a LDR themselves. And yes, they were right in the terms that we did not know what everyday life in the same city would be like together. We didn’t have the luxury of weekday dinner dates or navigating each other’s reactions after a bad day at work. But none of that bothered me, when you know you’re with the person you want to be with those
People make LDR’s work every single day. If any relationship is going to work it takes communication, faithfulness and trust.
The second thing that people kept telling me was that we needed to be engaged to for one of us to move to each other. You do NOT need to be engaged to go from long distance to living in the same state. Was I going to pack up my life and quit my job after dating a guy for two months? HECK NO. Aaron and I talked about where we saw our relationship going and if I was going to move to Ohio or not. What a lot of people do not know, is that I was looking to move back to Ohio before I met Aaron. I grew up in Columbus, was tired of life in Atlanta and was trying to make a move back to the place I called home. Aaron did not need to propose to me for me to move back to Ohio, because I knew that even if we didn’t end up together, Columbus was where I wanted to live. I also wanted us to experience dating each other in the same city. Dating Aaron was so fun and easy long distance, I wanted to keep that experience going.
I did not need a test run or a ring to verify how I felt. We were both very up front with one another when it came to where our relationship was going and what we both saw in the future.
When it comes to marriage I am a firm believer that you only get married once. I don’t have any regrets about moving to Columbus before we were engaged, and would do it the same way all over again. I will say, if we had dated in the same city for 6 months or a year before going long distance it would be a completely different story!
Advice for those Currently in a LDR
- Do not listen to unsolicited advice. If I had listened to what people said then I never would have moved to Columbus.
- The main thing I told myself, while we dated long distance was that it wasn’t a permanent situation.
- Make your visits fun! We would mix it up and travel somewhere other than each other’s cities. This allowed us to experience new places together and make some memories that were unique just to our relationship.
Aaron and I did a mini vlog on dating long distance. If you’d like a guys perspective on it all, he shares a lot of his thoughts on that season of our lives!
You can find Aaron’s hoodie here! He’s been wearing it around the house constantly and always telling me how soft it is. We can’t wait to share more with y’all about it in the next couple of weeks!
If you’ve been in a long distance relationship before I’d love to hear your thoughts!