I have been wanting to post this for awhile now. I’ve waited because, I have so much to say and a lot of it is not sunshine and rainbows. If we are being honest, people do not like when you get real with them. We like to pretend like everything is perfect and going according to plan. Well the reality is, life gets messy.  I have learned so much about myself over the past few years and can truly say I’ve finally gotten to a place of joy and contentment.

I’ve made more mistakes then I can count on both hands. There have been so many times where I felt like I was running around in circles with no clarity. Waiting for someone to tell me my next step. Looking back to 2012, I had become someone who was lost, completely unhappy with their life and wildly insecure.

The change to get myself out of this hole only occurred because I decided that I could no longer live this way. My parents had always said, “show me your three closest friends and I will show you your future.” Well friends, my future was looking pretty toxic and lonely. I had rid my life of the majority of these people but there were still some lingering in the cracks.

I finally realized that I couldn’t allow anyone to drag me through the dirt anymore. Reality had hit me hard in the face, actually it ran me over with a bus. It took awhile and a lot of tears, but I finally realized that I  was worth more and desired to live a full life.

I can whole heartedly say that the moment I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, to stop making up excuses and to start being the woman I knew I had the potential to be my life did an 180. Which leads me to a few important lessons I’ve learned:

1. You have worth– that boy who told you he’s not interested in a relationship or the company that didn’t offer you the job do not control your worth. You will experience rejection in your life, it is normal. It does not mean you are a failure or have something wrong with you. If you let every speed bump keep you down you will miss out on so much.
2. Listen to those who truly love you– people who care about you will not always tell you what you want to hear. But they will give you advice with your best interest in mind.
3. Stop seeking fulfillment in a relationship, job, etc. – you have to learn to be comfortable being alone, if you are not you will constantly settle for subpar. Yes, being in a relationship is great. Yes, having your dream job is satisfying. But if you are in a place where you do not have either that is okay. Keep working towards that job and bettering yourself.
4. Trust your gut- I can not tell you how many times I wish I would have listened to my gut. You know deep down when a situation is not okay. Believe this gut feeling, it is not foolish.
5. Life is extremely short – I have lost some people very close to me over the last couple of years. There have been numerous times where I wished I could go back and save the person or have one more day with them. Sadly this is not realistic…. no matter how much I wish it was. Live your life fully and take risks.
6. You attract what you think you deserve– man is this so so true when it comes to friendships, relationships, your career and health. You have to come to a point where you stop questioning or wondering why you are finding yourself in an unhealthy relationship, or why your health is constantly suffering. If you mentally talk down to yourself and do not realize your worth then this reality of yours will continue.

At the end of the day you can not wait around for someone else to come and pick up the pieces in your life. No one else can give you self confidence or solve every problem you come in contact with. You must take responsibility for the situation you’ve gotten yourself in and make an absolute conscious change to move forward. We all have a different path and journey, stop comparing yourself to others. Speaking from someone who has found themselves in the comparison trap, it leads to nothing positive.

If you take nothing else away from this post please remember this:

• You have so much to offer this world.
• You do not need that boy that makes you question yourself and cry.
• You can dig yourself out of the pit, it just takes a little effort.
• You have been uniquely created, embrace it.