Learning Forgiveness – Is it possible?
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Over the past month I have been surrounded by brokenness and pain. That type of pain where you would do anything to stop the other person from hurting. Brokenness that leaves you asking if they’ll ever be whole again. In one month I’ve seen the worst of humanity and the best intertwined. Wishing we were not all so messed up has consumed my daily thoughts, which has led me here. I’ve been struggling with the words for this post, and how to truly describe the process behind learning forgiveness. Because, how do I put into words something that I’m not even sure I’ve conquered?
Learning Forgiveness and how to actually forgive has never come easy for me. I hold grudges with the best of them, because if we truly forgive then we’re saying what happened was okay, right? But for the past couple of weeks, I feel as though these words need to be shared. The circumstances surrounding those I love, has made me realize how powerful forgiveness is in our lives. If one person is struggling right now and reads this, then all the messy vulnerability is worth it.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Forgiveness is not a word that can be spoken and everything goes back to normal. No, forgiveness is an action that you consciously pick every morning. ” quote=”Forgiveness is not a word that can be spoken and everything goes back to normal. No, forgiveness is an action that you consciously pick every morning. ” theme=”style3″]
When thinking about forgiveness and how it truly looks in our everyday lives, there is only one thing that comes to mind. There was a two year period in my life where I did a great deal of harm to my relationship with my parents, especially my dad. What happened and why are not important, what’s important is how he reacted. Naturally he was angry, disappointed and at some points wasn’t able to look or talk to me. But once the initial emotions wore off, he loved me, prayed and never brought it up again. He didn’t hold what I did over my head a year down the to road. Did he trust me right away? Absolutely not. But did he give me the chance to regain his trust? Yes.
I messed up and no matter how many times I apologized, things wouldn’t be the way they are today if he did not decide to forgive. Forgiving someone and ourselves does not make the action or words okay, instead it gives us the freedom to move forward. It opens up our hearts to have the capacity to love deeply.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Life is messy, and we’re imperfect people who constantly fall short. These shortcomings are not advertised on social media or talked about on the radio. These messy, painful shortcomings happen in the private moments of our lives. When no one is looking.” quote=”Life is messy, and we’re imperfect people who constantly fall short. These shortcomings are not advertised on social media or talked about on the radio. These messy, painful shortcomings happen in the private moments of our lives. When no one is looking.” theme=”style3″]
Forgiveness is not something that happens overnight. You can not force another human to forgive you, no matter how hard you try. I’m broken, you’re broken and one day we’re seeking forgiveness and the next we’re giving it.
Instead of viewing forgiveness like something you are granting the other person, view it as a healing moment to yourself. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you forget, and it doesn’t mean they gain access to stay in your life. It just means you love yourself enough to keep moving forward.
XOXO
Emily